The Hardest Thing I Have Had To Learn

When this post is bring published, I should be in three different places. However, I had to use my own advice and say, “I can’t.” to all of them. Today I will share a ground breaking moment in my life that I recently put into place in my life, and it has truly helped me be a better human.

Get ready.

I believe that everyone in this world has a “full plate.” Some people’s plates are just larger than others. That is OK. You have to know your plate size and what to add to it and what to not. During different seasons of life some things may be more important than others. For example: In this season I am Coach Cain’s biggest supporter, Calla and Cart’s mommy, teacher to the Cain Crew, and a Gem for Two Hidden Gems. I am also Carley that needs to cook meals for her family, write a blog as a creative outlet, and exercise daily for mental health. That is my plate. It’s rather full. So to keep myself from feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or not really being 100% in anything I do, I have had to learn to say this:

“I’m sorry. I’d love to, but I can’t make it.”

Last month I committed to being at 4 different events. Y’all. I was 30 minutes late to every single thing I was doing. That night I cried because when I looked back, I wasn’t truly “there” for anything. I was just checking the boxes. That isn’t life. That isn’t how we should live. The plate was a mess, wobbly, and close to shattering.

This simple little phrase has helped me feel less pressure. I don’t feel the pressure of having to squeeze too many activities into one day. I am not missing out on time with my family because I committed to being at three different places. Digging into self reflection in 2023 has caused me to protect the most important things to me. I have protected my plate. I know what I can and can’t add to it. I know my limits. It took many years to figure this out, but now that I know: Carley is a better plate holder.

What are you protecting? What is on your plate?

My next task in life: How to not feel the guilt from telling people no. I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m there.

Leaving school at 4:15 to be at a volleyball match at 5:00. We did manage to study some vocabulary in the car on the way.

Cooking dinner with a toddler may be my favorite season of life ever. It’s a reward when everyone eats a meal I made in the chaos.

Who Are We Trying To Please

I need to start this by saying: I am a 3. I find value and success in getting things done. I am all for a goal, and accomplishing that goal…. HOWEVER:

I was recently trying to wrap my brain around why I was feeling like a hamster in a wheel that was spinning and not going anywhere… only gaining exhaustion and fearing my worst fear: burn out. I don’t “love” using the words “stressed/ overwhelmed/anxiety” but if I am being real life…. I feel it. I feel it from time to time. Although I am good at moving on…. I want you to know I feel it.

I was feeling it. I was feeling very scattered and feeling as if I just couldn’t get ahead in anything I was doing. If life was a checklist, I was adding and not doing any crossing. When this happens I have to sit and do something filling for myself. What is that? Sitting in the floor and playing cars and trucks with Cart, then playing dolls with Calla. After the bath, song, and bed routine for the children, it’s sitting in my recliner and snacking on cheese-its with Coach while we watch a baseball game. This is when it hit me: I feel the most stress when I am trying to please PEOPLE. THE WRONG PEOPLE.

The most valuable Bible study I have ever done was about NOT people pleasing. People pleasing is a sin. I feel the stress and hamster feeling when I am trying to please the wrong people. I want to be a good teacher. I want to be a good friend. I want to be a good business owner. I want to be good…… but in all honesty…. who cares? If you are showing up, giving your best, doing your all with he gifts God gave you…. you are pleasing HIM. Worried that something you said upset someone? Say sorry. Move on. Worried that your boss isn’t pleased with the work you did…. is it your best? Congrats, you’re human. Worried that the anonymous post is about you on social media? That’s pleasing the wrong person. Trust me: I have to remind myself DAILY. HOURLY.

If you are loving others, if you are doing YOUR best, if you go home and love your family, if you go home and support your spouse…. YOU ARE DOING YOUR BEST.

Don’t please the wrong person. Don’t seek approval from people. Do your best work, give glory to the one who gave you the gifts, and move on.

Sunday Must

It is Sunday morning and my house is silent. My children convinced me to have a grandparent sleepover, so today I am going to get everything accomplished before I pick them up.

I tell my students that Mondays are my favorite, then on Tuesday I tell them Tuesday is my favorite, then on Wednesday I tell them Wednesday is my favorite day of the week. I do REALLY LOVE a Thursday. I NEVER tell them Friday is my favorite. Whew, Fridays are fun, but whew. If I’m being honest, Sundays are truly my favorite. I love a fresh day of the week where I can restart and refresh.

Here are some Sunday things we do that help us have an amazing week.

1. Meal plan. I try to plan my dinners and make my grocery list on Thursday. However, Sunday is MUST be done. I put this notepadon the fridge each week. Meals are planned and ready.

2. Make a quick run to Publix for all of the weekly must haves. I have actually been using Walmart pick up for some things, and doing that on Fridays, but that is a different post.

3. Carwash. Girl, wash your car on Sunday! Starting the week with a clean car will bring your heart so much joy! Now, my car will be trashed by Wednesday….. but on Sunday it’s clean. THIS for the backseat has also been a game changer for Calla. (At the time of this post, there is a 50% off coupon. Making the bin $5.)

4. Get your outfits ready for the week. I know. It’s insane. But I like to have everything planned, steamed, and ready for the week. A friend on the internet told me to stop ironing my clothing and start steaming it. I purchased this steamer to try out the steaming life and it is great! I even went on a trip and took it with me. Coach Cain told me to share it because in his words, “You really use that thing a lot.” I want a bigger one, I just don’t want to find a place to store it, so this little friend is perfect.

   I do NOT get Calla and Cart’s outfits ready for the whole week. That has been an area of battle for us. They tend to do better with that task being the night before.

5. Reset your house. Put everything away, run a vacuum, wipe down all the spaces. Monday morning comes so quick!

And just a reminder…… it is TOTALLY OKAY if you don’t do ANY of this. YOU do what YOU need to do to have a peaceful week! As always…. If you are in a season of exhaustion, I’m praying for you, friend!

You Were Made For This

I am REAL big on doing everything in my power to avoid that “burnout” phase of life. If I’m being honest, I fear it. It’s actually one of my most prayed prayer. I always hear, “I was just feeling teacher burnout.” “I was tired of my marriage.” “I was tired of my job.” “I was tired of blah blah blah.” I truly from the pit of my soul fear being “tired.”

Marriage. I find myself doing little things to avoid that feeling in our marriage. Coach and I have a HUGE focus on communication and I may or may not drive him crazy with my up front honesty. “Hey, that really bothered me!” is said a lot by me. When I need a break, I am one to say it. I don’t ever want to feel bitter or mad because of his schedule. To me, communication and talking about EVERYTHING keeps me from feeling tired in the most important relationship I have.

Teaching. I feel burnout in our jobs comes from stress. I am HUGE on filling my bucket as a PERSON and not giving my 110% to my job and then leaving 0% for my people in my house. I give the best I can in my classroom, but Cart, Calla, and Coach will always get my 110%. This means working hard to be as prepared as possible, and not stressing the small stuff. If it can’t be done, then it can’t be done. I am a human. It took 13 years, but I have mastered this skill quite well. (Ask my work friends. I am actually rather chill this year. To the point of people are questioning me.) You usually won’t find me working on anything school related when I am at home. I also removed work email and apps from my phone. If you know, you know. GAME CHANGER, y’all. I also had to learn to say, “No.” Just this year I had to say, “I’m sorry. I just can’t add that to my plate right now.” It hurt so much… but man I feel better! I’m just a better person and WANT to go to my classroom each day because I found that balance.

Motherhood. Whew. This circles back to me having open communication with Coach. One day last year I said, “Brandon, I am jealous of your 15 minute ride home in silence every day. Help me.” So he did. He fixed it all. We also fully believe in weekends at grandparent’s house. That can be another post for another day. Motherhood is hard. I can pour from an empty cup more that I want to admit, but we DO have to take moments for ourselves, and I believe in that Mama Moment.

All of this to say, no matter what I do to be my best at avoiding the “I am tired. I feel the burnout feeling approaching…..” It still hits me in the face from time to time. It hit me this week. I was THRIVING. Then… I was surviving. I had a meltdown over Cart’s pjs. I knew it was time to step back, pray about it, and reevaluate.

Then I pulled this shirt out for Teacher Tee Thursday. I bought it back in May.Honestly, I completely forgot I had it. It was pushed back in my closet, then found its way to the surface. (Which, sadly… says a lot.) Just what I needed; a reminder.

God made me for this. God made ME to be Calla and Cart’s mama. God made ME to be Coach Cain’s wife. God made ME to be a teacher to the Cain Crew. God made ME for THIS LIFE.

It changed my whole perspective. No matter what I do to avoid it, the exhaustion just hits us. The burnout is there. So when it does, now what.

So when you are feeling that awful feeling in the pit of your stomach, the burnout is close…. remember: You were made for this.

God made us to work hard and use our gifts for HIM. He tells us to go out and do hard work. Give Him the glory. We are told that work here on Earth is HARD. It isn’t easy because only in Heaven will we find that perfection. However, we can find comfort in knowing:

We were made for this.

The Suit Life

I have a slight obsession. It is an obsession with suits. Coach Cain calls them my leisure suits. Calla Cain is 100% NOT a fan of my suits. Instagram asks for links and my true friends send me links when they see a new one. My obsession stated last fall when Meme’s in Perry started selling them. I have since added many to my collection. I will even add that I do wear them to school, and I mix them up with other pieces all the time. Add a pair of Two Hidden Gems, and you are set. (See what I did there.)

Today I made post on Instagram and friends needed links. So I decided to add this to my corner of the field.

You can find them on LOTS of sites now, but I am only adding ones that I own and LOVE. (That is kinda my promise here…. Real Life ONLY and ONLY things I personally have and love.) I am 5’7. I am a size 8/10 and I usually order a M or L. I’m living my absolute BEST Coastal Grandma life in all things loose and baggy.

The MOST famous suit I own in 6 different colors: See and Be Seen is the brand. I wear a medium. It is boxy and just lovely. Just add a statement, staple, or stud and it is a whole beautiful thing. It’s currently fake fall here…. and I wore this today and it is just lovely.

This is also a great set. It is a loose sweater like material. The price can’t be beat and the colors are amazing. Great quality. The top is very cute with jeans… if that is your thing. I wore this to school and my admin LOVED it. (Meaning it is now work appropriate.) You can’t go wrong with this one.

Probably the MOST WORN SET I own. Coach washes it weekly. In the cooler months he washes it twice a week. I only own navy…. but I am just going to say….. the price tag might make you sad, but the material will make your heart so so so happy. Anything in this Airessentials is just pure love. I LIVE in this thing. Brown may or may not be on the way to my house now.

I know what I promised above…. but if I don’t share it now, we may miss an amazing steal of a deal with this preorder. I wanted a shorts set with a long sleeve top, and a favorite little small shop is doing a preorder. I did grab THIS ONE, it just isn’t here yet. CARLEY10 saves you 10% and it’s another great option for the price. I’m thinking I will LIVE in this set this fall on the weekends. As I am typing this…. I may go back and order a few for Christmas gifts…. because how perfect?!

As always, thank you for the support of this little corner of the field. I promise every item linked here is CCTM approved!

Recent Loves

August was here. Now it’s gone. I hate to sound so bloggerrrrrr but I have been asked to post and link things that I used this month. Here are the things that I personally own, use, and LOVE. I will say, I bought a good bit from Amazon this month to really try some things… and sent a good bit back. I am just trying to keep it real life here. Also, if I am wearing it…. It is comfortable. Life is too short to be uncomfortable. I will NOT wear anything that it too tight other than my Lululemon and you know… they are made that way. Ha!

First, the Mighty Patch. Just don’t forget to take them off of your face when you go to the 5am gym class. I swear they WORK! You can get them at Target, Walmart, and Ulta, but Amazon is the cheapest. Best purchase….. I wish I had them when I was a teen. I get stress pimples, and they take them away in a day.

This dresswas amazing. Super great quality. It literally feels like you are wearing a pj dress. That is goals in my book. I ordered another print for an event I have in a few weeks. I also think it will be perfect in the fall with some cute flats. You really can’t beat the price!

I was searching for something to wear with ALL of the new fall gems from two Hidden Gems and I saw this denim dress. Had to have it. It was perfect for right now when it is 700* and I can’t wait to wear it in the fall with boots. I already have 5 pair of gems to wear with it. It is going to be a weekly wear around here.

This. Somehow I found it super cheap and honestly I wasn’t expecting too much. Well….. it is great! It is light enough for my 2 year old to use it. I may grab another for my classroom because I just like a perfectly clean floor. If you are in the market for a cheap cordless vacuum , THIS ONE IS GREAT!

I think I saved the best for last. I am officially obsessed with THIS SKIRT. The fit is very CCTM. I plan to wear it with all of the teacher tees. It comes in many prints and colors. I already bought 2 more. The best part: IT HAS POCKETS! It is long, soft, and very comfortable. I can’t wait to add a sweater and flats for fall.

OH ONE MORE THING….THIS. . You just need this. It doesn’t need a picture. But dresses/ skorts/ skirts/ shorts/ whatever….. you need it. It will save your life.

As always, thank you for supporting this little corner of the field. I think this weekend I may post some classroom items that I have LOVED this year. I have a few more recipes on the agenda as well.

I hope your season is full of wins… unless you play the Warhawks.