To Be Real Life

That is always the goal. To show the highlights, but also the real life. I feel like to do that pretty well when it comes to Teacher Life/ Coach’s Wife Life/ somewhat Mama Life… because I feel comfortable sharing MY real life. I wouldn’t share anything that has to do with someone else’s life. That is kinda the rule here. I will be as open about MY REAL life as I possibly can be.

So…. if I am being REAL LIFE…. Let’s talk about a recent opportunity I was given.

LTK.

What is LTK? It is an app. It is a free app that you download. When I post items we use/ teacher outfits/ products I love…. I can easily link the items/ pieces there.

WHY?

To be real life, I LOVE teacher style. I love seeing other teachers dress. I love watching videos of moms cooking dinner for their family. I love seeing how mom’s run their houses while protecting their mental well being. I LOVE seeing other moms THRIVE.

So I stated posting MY teacher outfits.

I started posting MY dinner plans.

I started posting books I read to MY children.

I started posting.

Then people asked for links.

Then I was given the opportunity to post commissionable links and be paid for time I put into writing recipes/ time I spend adding links and resources.

It honestly became a space for Carley to be Carley.

Because if I am being REAL LIFE…. I often find my identity in being a Coach’s Wife/ Mama/ Teacher/ Small Business Owner. But who is Carley? So this space was born.

I have BIG plans for this space. I have some insane blessings in the works that I would LAUGH about years ago….

So if it’s your thing….. download the LTK app and follow for this new season. I think it is going to be a winning one. Maybe.

The Plan

The plan is that I have no plan.

I should really start by saying I am very new at the whole Bible reading journey. This year I knew I was going through the motions of being a Christian, but I was missing something. After hearing many messages each Sunday, I knew that it was Bible reading daily.

So in mid 2024, I made that part of my daily morning. I am FAR from perfect. I can tell you that it has changed my mornings, for the better. I found myself NEEDING to start each morning with my chair, silence, and the word.

I get asked what “plan” I follow.

I have no plan.

I love journaling. (obviously. You’re reading my public journal.) So I wanted something I could jot with.

I’m also so new to the Bible, that I really wanted something from start to finish, and not skipping around like most daily devotions were doing. (Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE a daily devotional.) I just knew I needed something different.

I kept seeing the Spiral Bible. I went with that one.

I LOVE the large book. It can lay flat on my lap as I sit in my chair.

I love the lines on the side for the notes.

It has the perfect pages for flair pens. If you know you know.

As for my reading plan: No plan.

I stated with the New Testament.

Matthew chapter 1.

I say a quick prayer each time I start. “Lord, help me hear what you need me to hear today.”

Then I read one chapter. I underline what sticks out to me.

On the side I write down questions, thoughts, prayers that relate to what I just read.

THEN: (remember, I am so new to this.)

I go to my friends and tell them my questions and ask them to clarify for me. Because I have THE best friends that I am fully comfortable asking my questions. They are WAY smarter than me. I HIGHLY suggest finding someone to discuss with. (These friends often tend to be my admin team. Usually when they are exhausted from a long day of school… then here I come with my deep questions. HAHAH.)

At the end of each book, I will flip back and look at each note I took and write a summary of what I learned from that book. (Sounding more and more like a teacher.)

Is this the best plan? Not sure. I am sure it works for me.

I still love questions that make me “think” and respond…. (I am a reading teacher after all.) My goal this year is to slow down a bit. I ordered THIS to help me reflect daily on that. She is one of my favorite writers.

For the Coaches Wives:

THIS daily devotion CHANGED me. During the season I read this along with my Bible reading and it truly changed my heart. I give this book the credit for lighting the fire in my heart that I needed. I honestly plan to pick it back up and work through it again in January. SO SO good.

Each morning I try to spend 10 minutes reading from the Bible and reflecting. Then I’ll spend around 10 minutes with a devotional.

I also highly recommend adding a little rescue Weim and a great cup of coffee to your morning reading plan.

No matter what season you are in…. I’m cheering for you!

The Opposite.

I am not very big on “resolutions.” Honestly, the “New Year” to my brain is in August. (Any other teachers feel this?) When reflecting on my year, I don’t really think: “I wish I did more.” The way my brain functions:

I exercise daily. (multiple times.)

I cook most meals at home.

We eat dinners together.

We pack lunches from home.

I have become closer to Jesus this year than I have ever been.

I love my teaching career.

My marriage is thriving.

Maybe just maybe my children are growing up enjoying their childhood.

I guess I can floss more and limit Starbucks?

I am 3. Can you tell?

My day is built around a mental checklist. I find myself going through the motions of life and constantly feeling “rushed” to get to the next strike off of the to do list that lives in my mind. I wake up each day around 4:50am, but still find myself a few minutes late to everything. I tell people daily: I am not late because I couldn’t get out of the bed. I am late because I tried to do too much in the time before I needed to be somewhere. I constantly live in the state of “HURRY.” I am even 2-3 minutes late taking my class to every place we need to be every day. In fact, I was recently called out by an 11 year old when I said, “Y’all. We gotta hurry. We are 3 minutes late to lunch every day!” To which she said, “Mrs. Cain, we have to be at lunch at 11:50, but you set the reading group timer to END at 11:50. Why don’t we set the timer to end at 11:47. Then we might be on time.” Silly 5th graders. Why are they so logical and smart?! And why do I not do this?

So I decided to do the opposite of “rush.” What is that? So I googled antonyms for “rush.”

It broke me.

Inactivity.

Laziness.

Lethargy.

Faintheartedness.

If I was to describe my biggest fears: To be seen as any of the above words.

Until 2025.

I plan to do the opposite of “rush.”

I won’t stop working hard. I won’t stop checking off that daily to do list. I won’t stop giving 100%.

I just won’t rush to do more.

I don’t want to spend 2025 in the constant state of “hurry.” My goal for 2025 is to eliminate the sense of constant RUSH.

In A Season Of Waiting

It’s the “most stressful” time of the year. It is the coaching carousel. (To the non football friends, this is the end of football season when jobs open up, coaches are job searching, waiting. It is a circle of who gets what job and hires who and that opens up another job. It is never ending.) It is something that LITERALLY makes me questions this life choice each and every season.

I’ll be praying about this space and its purpose, then I’ll hear a message and it is just the nudge I need. I recently heard, “You go through seasons of life, to share it with others so they can see how God walked you through it.” So today, we shall have a story time.

In January 2018 Coach Cain was offered a coordinator job that was going to move us ten miles from our hometown. THE DREAM right? We have always lived 2 or more hours from our family, and this job was going to plop us right back where we started. There was just ONEEEEE problem: I wasn’t going.

I hate to be dramatic, but this was the ONE time in the 17 years of Coach and Carley that I was not on the same page as Coach Cain. To this day I still can’t put my finger on WHY I had such an uneasy feeling, but I just knew. I was causing stress for Coach. I didn’t want to move.My best friend told me I was being insane. I FULLY follow the : “Where you go, I’ll go” coach’s wife life. It honestly wasn’t “right.” The more time passed, the more the situation wasn’t looking great. The only thing I know NOW is that this was a God thing. It had to be.

Then months pass and we are now at the END of February when our “person” (Your “person” in the coaching world is someone you love and always go to for support and fully trust) called Coach. “Hey. We have a spot down in middle Georgia. Would you just come check it out and interview?” Instantly: I was so excited. This was the missing feeling. This was the clarity I needed. So to recap: We were living 1.5 hours from family. We were planning to take a job offer that would put us 10 minutes from family, I just had a level of uncertainty that I will never be able to explain other than GOD, then we were offered an interview that would take us 2.5 hours from family. BUT GOD.

At this point, a coaching family would be a HUGE ball of nerves. It is March. We have no 100% certainty, but we are simply living on a prayer.

Then God. I was being taught when it is God’s plan, it falls perfectly into place.

I interview in April. We sign contracts. We place an offer on a tiny house in THE BEST location. The offer is accepted. They want to close in May.

From January to May our whole lives changed to a direction that I didn’t even know was possible.

That was 7 years ago. We have made that middle Georgia place our home. This season of life has been the absolute BEST season for our family.We have joined a church that we love. I serve at the church (which is a huge step for me.) My school is my happy place. I have found myself thinking about MY goals in life. (Coaching wives know. This is big. Your goals? Your goal is to be Coach’s wife and follow where he goes.)

All of that to say: We find ourselves in the waiting season again. (I asked Coach why in the world did we sign up for this?!) However, I can fully say/ honestly without a doubt/ I have NO stress about this stressful season. Sure there are moments that I catch myself thinking, “Oh gosh! What IF…….” then I am reminded: Every single season God has walked us through it. God has provided WAY more comfort and peace than we deserve. God will go through every season with us.

If you’re also in the waiting season, know this: Being Christian doesn’t keep bad things from happening…. but it DOES give us PEACE while we wait.

I’m praying with you, friend.

From my field to yours,

Carley

Advice I Don’t Advise

Now that I am on “long runs” again, I have so many minutes to think. Yesterday I was thinking about phrases I hear often and cringe when I hear them. Let’s call it “advice I would never advise” anyone to take AND WHY.

1. Enjoy life while you’re care free in high school. OR You have no responsibilities BUT school while you’re young…..

   WHY? As a person that did NOT LOVE high school…… no. All of my worries and anxiety stem FROM high school.

   BETTER: Adult life is amazing if you make the choice to get up every day and love life. You need to make good choices every day you wake up, give your best, and build an adult life that is 1000X better than your high school life.

   I saw someone post the other day, “Why are students late to school. They have no responsibilities BUT to come to school.” Ehhhhh….. you don’t know someone’s whole story. Chill.

2. Follow your heart.

   WHY: Absolutely not. My heart told me some crazy things. (Most while in high school.) Your heart wants you to live in the moment. No. I don’t ever tell Calla to “follow her heart.” Your heart is full of emotion and will cause you to react in the moment. My heart wants me to yell back at bleacher coaches and Facebook coaches.

   BETTER: Read your Bible, ask God, and seek advice from someone you trust. Follow that guidance.

   I probably gave this advice and thought it was great advice until I became closer to Jesus (in my adult life. Far away from high school.)

3. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

   WHY: OH YES YOU CAN. You can do hard things. You can keep going. You have to in some seasons. I’ve found myself with an empty cup, breaking the cup, and handing out pieces of the cup. Then I bring it back to solid ground. I assure you, you can pour from an empty cup when needed.

   What advice would you not advise others to take?

Is This How It Goes?

At the start of the 2024 school year I made a promise to myself that I was going to start my day in a way that supported peace and mental health. Our church had been focused on “you could be doing all of the right things, and not in the Bible, so nothing really matters.” Oh how I felt this. I was living my best life. I was “healthy”, “happy”, and “thriving.” Something was missing.

I am a big believer in NOT complaining about anything until I have done everything within my power to change the situation. I wrote “Give Yourself Less to Complain About” and I truly stand by it. So before I went down the “what is wrong with me” spiral, I went to the Bible. Couldn’t hurt, right?

I have done many devotionals. I have been a part of so many Bible study groups. I read the Bible from time to time. I will buy a book, follow a plan, and listen to a podcast about the Bible. If I am being real life, I just don’t really follow through. So while grasping for peace and comfort, I made a decision: Just open the Bible. Open it daily. Start at chapter 1. Read it. In order. That’s what I have done. I started in Matthew. I have worked my way through 2 books now. Every. Single. Morning. I say this prayer: “Lord, just tell me what I need to hear right now for this day.” He has not disappointed me yet.

So, I am cured, right? Life is rainbows and sunshine, right?

Absolutely not.

I think I felt that starting my day with Jesus would solve everything. I would find that missing piece and peace. I would fill that missing feeling inside. Well, I am here to report: kinda.

Child on the left: Me thinking I am doing all things right. Child on the right: BUT WHY ARE THINGS STILL HARD FOR ME?! 

However, I feel that when I am doing exactly what God wants me to do….. the enemy truly feels the need to attack HARDER.

Example: (or several. Real life, right?)

I have NEVER been on time, on schedule, word for word, hanging on to a group Bible study. Until now. I am working through a book with Coaches’ Wives. I am LOVING every page. I even went WAY WAY WAY out of my comfort zone and typed the questions to discuss and sent them out to the group. I was READY. I had notes and real life experiences to share. The time came to meet. I am on my way to the meeting. 2 miles from the group and Cart Cain starts projectile vomiting. Everywhere. I miss the study and have to turn around. Then bathe a child and clean a carseat and Yukon. I am reminded of the disappointment for 3 days when I open the door and I’m hit with vomit residue smell.

Thanks, enemy.

I am living my abosolute best teacher life ever. I am walking on clouds and touching rainbows in the sky I am so filled with happiness. Then the enemy attacks that with negativity and hurt.

This season is hard. Coach is frustrated and working harder than ever. We aren’t winning. But I am praying harder and love a program more than I ever have in my entire life.

Enemy attacks.

People are just real people and I find myself disappointed in them. I am just ehhhhhhhh…… that person is not really being what I thought they were. I find myself disappointed in people.

Enemy.

Parenting? Ha. I am thriving one second and then the next I am about to cry my eyes out because I am so sick of listening to complaining from a 9 year old and 3 year old. The day I hit 44 days of reading, I was having the BEST morning. Then Calla cried at 6:30am because I poured too much cereal and Cart cried because his favorite red jacket was dirty. I lost it. (I am also married to the most calm person on the planet and let me tell you…. when I am crying and they are crying and he is all like, “it is fineeeeeeeee” I cry louder than anyone.)

Enemy attacks again.

The difference? When these moments are piling up during the day, I find myself remembering the scripture that I wrote in my journal from this morning and the many mornings before. I find myself sharing what I read in the Bible with others. LET ME TELL YOU…. .this is SO NOT ME.

Reading daily has not kept me from experiencing the mid season meltdown. It just gives me to tools and comfort in knowing that God’s plan is glorious and always works out into the most beautiful season ever. The winning season.

If you are having a tough season, but calling all of the right plays…. go back to the playbook. Rewrite the game plan. It has been the game changer for me.