How We Fight
If there was a reason this little corner of the field was started, this topic MIGHT be it. If we are friends at all then you may already know this about me: My marriage is the most valuable thing to me. Before everyone goes all Mama Bear on me….. yes, my children are THE most important people in my life…. but because of THEM, my marriage is SO IMPORTANT. You can pretty much take everything away from me…. but don’t touch my marriage or my children. So what do you think is the first thing that Satan will attack? This is why I pour prayers and prayers over my marriage. Plus, Coach is the GOAT and deserves that for sure.
Did you know that your children are going to likely grow up and treat their spouse like they see you treating your spouse? Ummmmm….. no pressure. Did you know they will think it is OK to be treated like your spouse treats you? Ummmm….. even more pressure. This is why Coach and I fight like we do. Because one day Cart and Calla will fight with their spouse like we do. Our grandchildren will be raised in homes that WE are setting an example for now. So. Much. Pressure.
So you BEST believe it I am going to focus on how we fight.
It would be INSANE for me to sit here are say Coach and I do not fight. We do. We don’t always do it correctly. In fact, when I started writing this post I asked Calla if her Mommy and Daddy fight and she said yes. Then she started acting it out. “Brandon! I have so much to do. I will not get it done. How can you sit there?” “Ok, what do you need me to do? I will do it!” And y’all. I am ROLLING. If this isn’t me and Coach….. nothing is. See, I am the run around 100mph. Coach is the “I’m resting until you tell me what needs to be done and then I am going to do it.” But it wasn’t always like that.
I would say in the last 5 years we really had to work on communication. But not only communication but more like, accepting what is being communicated and fix it. For example: It drives Coach crazy how I load the dishwasher. He was constantly making comments about it somewhat in a funny way, but it was really starting to drive me crazy that he had something to say every single time. So I yelled, “Listen! You come home from practice to a dinner EVERY SINGLE night. I have our children at my side the whole time I am cooking. I am sorry the dishwasher is a mess. SORRY!” He listened to that. He hasn’t mentioned the dishwasher. In fact his response was, “Just pile them ups in the sink and I will load it.” Communication with response.
Yes, the dishwasher is a super simple argument. However, I am HERE to say, we used the this method of argument in a much bigger disagreement. It was a disagreement that was all of two minutes long because of communication.
If something bothers you, no matter how big or small. Communicate that. If you communicate your feelings and no changes are made, I am a firm believer that THAT is the problem. Not your feelings. Let your children see you communicating that. Let them see you fight and how you fix it. How you and your spouse treat each other is how your children will treat their spouse, or allow their spouse to treat them. You GOTTA get this right.
